Any #Pistons fan can tell you that this so-called “Season of Hope” has turned into a demoralizing joke. The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back for me happened Saturday night when Detroit couldn’t muster enough strength to beat a team that is OPENLY TANKING. After the Sixers loss I’ve decided there are so many things I’d rather do than watch The Detroit Pistons play basketball.
So I jotted down a few notes.
- Vacation in North Korea.
- Get stuck on an airplane in the middle seat, with 12 crying babies and the people next to me take their shoes and socks off.
- Drink from a water fountain in a kindergarten class.
- Lick the armrest of a chair in a hospital waiting room.
- Wait in any Black Friday line.
- Watch a Kardashian’s marathon.
- Go to a One Direction concert.
- Get a Colonoscopy.
- Walk in a MMA ring during a fight.
- Spend the day with Nancy Grace.
- Do the Cleveland Cavaliers laundry.
- Join the cast of Swamp People.
- Get in an elevator with Ray Rice.
- Eat roadkill with the Duck Dynasty crew.
- Piss off Bill Laimbeer.
- Take pictures of my food and post them on Facebook.
- Work for Donald Sterling.
- Be Josh Smith’s long distance shooting coach.
- Give Dennis Rodman a pedicure.
- Take on Rasheed Wallace in a game of Horse.
- Have a drink with Bill Cosby.
- Send my kids to The Honey Boo Boo day care center.
- Get a paper cut on my eye.
- Contract Ebola.
- Rather be at the Malace at the Palace…again.
- Wear sandals with socks.
- Be Ron Artest’s psychiatrist.
- Be in the path of a Blake Griffin dunk.
- Help Shaquille O’Neal apply his Gold Bond.
I think I’ll be adding to the list as this season goes on. The only thing I wouldn’t want to be doing is be in Stan Van Gundy’s shoes.
Back to today’s programming. Kim Kardashian speaks to Pistons fans who actually have faith in a Detroit turnaround.