Bill Walton has a deficiency, and maybe Luke does too.

by | Jul 20, 2006 | 9 comments

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Now Bill Walton the human is one thing, but now the geniuses at ESPN have created Bill the cartoon. ESPN has been running commercials with Bill in them about “Sports Video Deficiency,” with the remedy being ESPN’s new internet video service, ESPN 360. I recorded one of the commercials for you just in case you didn’t catch it.

ESPN 360 Bill Walton Commercial
Right click and save or click to watch.

I think I prefer the cartoon Bill over the real life nonsensical comment spouting, Grateful Dead following, human Bill Walton any day. The cartoon character Bill follows a script so we don’t have to endure any of his ridiculous comments such as these gems.

  • “Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It’s up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards.”
  • “Yao Ming is the best thing to happen to the NBA in a long time. He is just a beautiful person inside and out. The vision, the creativity, the gentleness of spirit…he has it all.”
  • “Greg Ostertag is one of the top centers on this planet!”
  • On Larry Johnson’s lackluster performance in the NBA Finals: “What a pathetic performance by this sad human being. This is a disgrace to the game of basketball and to the NBA. He played like a disgrace tonight. And he deserved it.”
  • “You look at Vladimir Radmanovic, this guy is cut from stone. As if Michelangelo was reading and a lightening bolt flashed before him.”
  • “You look at his body, Dwyane Wade, it’s as if Michelangelo sculpted it in a dream, he’s just so cut, and his posture, the rack upstairs with those shoulders, so broad.”
  • “Tracy McGrady is doing things we have never seen from anybody – from any planet!”
  • “Why even have a rulebook?”
  • Dick Enburg – “A lot of people think Michigan is just Detroit, but when you get up north there’s some really beautiful land.” Bill Walton – “What, is it just, like, a desert up there?”
  • During a Piston – Spurs game that had just begun, the score was 8-4 and Tony Parker had scored all of the Spurs 8 points. Bill screamed, “Detroit’s in deep trouble, Tony Parker has outscored this whole Pistons team.”
  • Any quote with, “the history of Western Civilization,” in it and there are many.

Poppa Bill aside, I was a little worried about Luke Walton after I saw this picture. What’s up with the hat Luke? And why do you feel the need to wear the key to your car around your neck? Is that the cool LA thing to do? Do you think the ladies will dig you because of your fancy car and your hip aviator sunglasses? Richard can pull of the hat, but the look is just not working for you Luke. Throw it out big man! Throw it out!

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Luke seems like a good guy, for his sake I hope the only thing he inherits from his father is his basketball skills.


  1. bigdaddysheed36

    The only good thing about the Pistons not making it to the NBA Fianls was that we won’t have to hear Bill talk out his ass about them during the series.

    I remember during a Pistons/Heat game, Bill says something along the lines of: “Detroit just cannot compete with Miami so long as Dwayne Wade is with the Heat.” The Pistons were down 4 points, with possesion, scored, then only down 2 points, and went on to win the game.

    Why would any network ever hire Bill Walton… seriously, why pay that man money to piss off 99% of the people watching.

    The only cool thing Bill Walton has even done was when he called out Shaq during Eastern Finals this year.

  2. Anonymous

    no 1 cares about bill or luke walton

  3. farlane

    I like cartoon Bill better. He’s more believable.

    Looks like RJ washed his hat in hot water. Either that or he woke up with Barry Bonds’ head.

  4. Anonymous

    Bill Walton Got Owned by the Pistons in 88 and 89 playoffs! No wonder why he is so jealous of Michigan and Detroit in general!Cause he can’t beat us.Bad boyz stomped waltons celtics. One word for Bill Walton, MICHIGAN!

  5. Anonymous

    did the pistons win that game?

  6. Natalie

    Yes they did win the game.

  7. Aaron

    Ok? This Is Pointless.

  8. Anonymous



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