Any #Pistons fan can tell you that this so-called “Season of Hope” has turned into a demoralizing joke. The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back for me happened Saturday night when Detroit couldn’t muster enough strength to beat a team that is OPENLY TANKING. After the Sixers loss I’ve decided there are so many things I’d rather do than watch The Detroit Pistons play basketball.
So I jotted down a few notes.
– Get stuck on an airplane in the middle seat, with 12 crying babies and the people next to me take their shoes and socks off.
– Drink from a water fountain in a kindergarten class.
– Lick the armrest of a chair in a hospital waiting room.
– Wait in any Black Friday line.
– Watch a Kardashian’s marathon.
– Go to a One Direction concert.
– Get a Colonoscopy.
– Walk in a MMA ring during a fight.
– Spend the day with Nancy Grace.
– Do the Cleveland Cavaliers laundry.
– Join the cast of Swamp People.
– Drink Mexican tap water.
– Get in an elevator with Ray Rice.
– Eat roadkill with the Duck Dynasty crew.
– Piss off Bill Laimbeer.
– Take pictures of my food and post them on Facebook.
– Work for Donald Sterling.
– Be Josh Smith’s long distance shooting coach.
– Give Dennis Rodman a pedicure.
– Take on Rasheed Wallace in a game of Horse.
– Have a drink with Bill Cosby.
– Send my kids to The Honey Boo Boo day care center.
– Get a paper cut on my eye.
– Contract Ebola.
– Rather be at the Malace at the Palace…again.
– Wear sandals with socks.
– Be Ron Artest’s psychiatrist.
– Be in the path of a Blake Griffin dunk.
– Help Shaquille O’Neal apply his Gold Bond.
I think I’ll be adding to the list as this season goes on. The only thing I wouldn’t want to be doing is be in Stan Van Gundy’s shoes.
Back to today’s programming. Kim Kardashian speaks to Pistons fans who actually have faith in a Detroit turnaround.